1-5 Shower Thoughts

1. The real gauge of friendship is how clean your house needs to be before they can come over.

2. A polka dot shirt is a striped shirt but instead of running horizontally or vertically, they run in the third dimension.

3. Driving at highway speeds and only being a couple of feet away from an oncoming car in the other lane is weirdly normalized.

4. Retirement isn’t an age, it’s financial status.

5. Teeth are the only problem if you ignore them, they will go away.

6-10 Shower Thoughts

6. English teachers are *almost* always the rad, supportive role models in books and movies because the people who write books and movies loved their English teachers.

7. Adopting a homeless isn’t as popular as adopting strays.

8. Murder is universally despised, and yet assassins are deemed cool.

9. Guys have to actively try to not enjoy sex in order to enjoy having sex longer.

10. On a scale of 1-10, 5.5 is average, not 5.

11. It’s a weird part of human evolution that eating healthy vegetables is seen as a punishment and a sugary dessert is a reward.

12. Flesh eating zombies are a great example of equality because they don’t discriminate against anyone.

13. Master of Science sounds way more impressive than Ph.D.

14. Brains are so stupid that they let your physical self rot if you get sad, but smart enough to know that they do that.

15. In sitcoms, no one ever goes to work and in crime dramas, they never stop working.